01.17.10

Why do dreams begin and end when I step into my car. When lock the gate. When I close the door in my room and take all the change, my wallet, phone, lighter, and cigarettes. When I brush my teeth and wash my face. I think its the ambition. The want superseeding the need. This hunger has me questioning everything and everyone. Worth. Use. Meaning. Intention. For some, the truth is at the bottom of the bottle. I find truth in your eyes. And through these lenses, this mirror, I am able to see where I've been and where I'm going to go. It's when you close your eyes I am lost.

01.13.10

Not all is lost. But this void that I feel and hold seems uncontainable. As I constantly stare into the open sky, I feel incomplete. As if days are wasted away and the potiential I hold is diminishing. This excess of emotion spills onto and absorbed by meaningless and minute pleasures. This inconsistency of goals and accomplishments constantly outweighs one another. And as I continue to speculate, I believe that I am in search of a medium, and when I say medium I mean significant other, I stubbornly and adamantly hold myself back intentionally awaiting her to awaken the slumbering dragon. Because of this stupid and simplistic reasoning I leave myself waiting as I bleed internally from wounds that I assume she can either subside or heal. And trust me when I say, this is always a hot topic when I find myself driving home in any state of mind.